Last night Clint and I rushed like mad people to get home, get showers, grab a few pillows and head to the Medical Center for the first class of our 6 week course in childbirthing! Nothing funnier than a pregnant woman waddling down the hallway with two pillows tucked under her arms. Of course, we weren't the only ones that arrived a few minutes late. Thankfully, our good friends the Whitfields saved us some seats.
I must say our teacher, Mrs. Martha Houchin is wonderful. She has all these lovely abrreviations after her name; RN, MS, MSN. It makes me feel she is very qualified. Seriously though, she has been in the business of taking care of Mom's and newborns, and teaching nurses to do the same for over 40 years. I feel we are very blessed to have her teaching the course.
Last night we covered the third trimeseter of pregnancy, Labor pain, signs of pre-labor and breathing and relaxation exercises. At one point she turned off the lights and prompted us to try the progressive relaxation technique. Slowly we relaxed out heads, neck, shoulders, chests, and so on a so forth until we reached our toes. Clint just about had me rolling. Have mercy! This man is supposed to be my relaxation and breathing coach! HA!
Mrs. Houchin gave us a list of 10 things Dad is not supposed to say during labor. I thought I'd share them with you all (by the way, she's heard them all personally come from Daddy's mouth):
1. I've seen puppies born hundreds of times.
2. I'm getting worn out, I might take a nap.
3. I'll ask my mother to stay with you while I go eat something. I'm really hungry.
4. That contraction didn't look too bad (while looking at the monitor).
5. My ex-wife didn't take this long!
6. What's that smell?
7. Where is the remote, she's too busy to change the channel.
8. Just push a little harder, one more time!!!
9. Ugh! That looks gross!
10. Hey Doc, could you put and extra stitch in that thing for me?
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